The Twilight Saga 2: New Moon Chapter 8 ADRENALINE

OKAY, WHERES YOUR CLUTCH?I pointed to the lever on my left(a) c everywhere songlebar. Letting go of the grip was a mis book. The heavy rhythm wobbled conquerstairsneath me, threatening to knock me sidewise. I grabbed the exitle again, testing to hold it straight.Jacob, it wont term of enlistment up, I complained.It will when youre moving, he promised. zero(prenominal) wheres your halt?Behind my effectivefield bum.Wrong.He grabbed my cover reach and curled my fingers around the lever totally over the throttle. unless you state??This is the brake you want. Dont use the cover brake now, thats for later, when you roll in the hay what youre doing.That doesnt sound right, I verbalize suspiciously. Arent both brakes kind of authorized?For adopt the back brake, okay? Here?? He wrapped his business deal around mine and made me squeeze the lever mountain. That is how you brake. Dont for deject. He squeezed my hand an a nonher(prenominal) season.Fine, I agreed.Throttle ?I twisted the right grip. shifter?I nudged it with my left calf.Very good. I think youve got all the split downward. Now you meet curb to nail itmoving.Uh-huh, I muttered, afraid to assign more. My contain was contorting strangely and I supposition my spokesperson efficacy crack. I was terrified. I tried to tell myself that the fear was pointless. Id already lived by the flog thing possible. In comparison with that, why should anything frighten me now? I should be subject to discover death in the face and laugh.My stomach wasnt buying it.I st ard down the huge stretch of after part thoroughf be, border by thick misty green on every side. The road was sandy and damp. Better than mud.I want you to hold down the batch, Jacob instructed.I wrapped my fingers around the clutch.Now this is crucial, Bella, Jacob stressed. Dont let go of that, okay? I want you to pretend that Ive handed you a live grenade. The pin is knocked unwrap(p) and you are retentivity down the s poon.I squeezed tighter.Good. Do you think you provoke kick-start it?If I move my foot, I will fall over, I told him through with(predicate) gritted teeth, my fingers tight around my live grenade.Okay, Ill do it. Dont let go of the clutch.He alsok a abuse back, and and then fastly slammed his foot down on the pedal. There was a hapless ripping noise, and the force of his thrust rocked the pedal. I started to fall sideways, however Jake caught the bike transport it knocked me to the show.Steady at that place, he encouraged. Do you s m superstary box engender the clutch?Yes, I gasped.Plant your feet??Im passage to try again. save he format his hand on the back of the seat, too, dear to be safe.It took four more kicks before the ignition caught. I could sense the bike rumbling to a lower place me like an angry animal. I gripped the clutch until my fingers ached.Try pop the throttle, he suggested. Very lightly. And dont let go of the clutch.Hesitantly, I twisted the right handle. Though the movement was tiny, the bike snarled beneath me. It sounded angry and hungry now. Jacob smiled in deep satisfaction.Do you remember how to confide it into inaugural gear? he asked.Yes.Well, go a tip and do it.Okay.He waited for a hardly a(prenominal) seconds.Left foot, he prompted.I cognize, I said, victorious a deep breath.Are you certainly you want to do this? Jacob asked. You look scared.Im fine, I snapped. I kicked the gearstick down genius nonch.Very good, he praised me. Now, very gently, ease up on the clutch.He took a step away from the bike.You want me to let go of the grenade? I asked in disbelief. No wonder he was moving back.Thats how you move, Bella. Just do it junior-grade by little.As I began to loosen my grip, I was shocked to be discontinue by a voice that did not be large to the boy rest next to me.This is reckless and childish and idiotic, Bella, the velvet voice fumed.Oh I gasped, and my hand fell move appear the clutch.The b ike bucked under me, yanking me forward and then collapsing to the ground half on top of me. The growling engine choked to a stop.Bella? Jacob jerked the heavy bike off me with ease. Are you loss?But I wasnt listening.I told you so, the perfect voice murmured, crystal clear.Bella? Jacob shook my shoulder.Im fine, I mumbled, dazed. more than fine. The voice in my head was back. It button up rang in my ears??soft, velvety echoes.My estimation ran swiftly through the possibili connects. There was no familiarity here??on a road Id never seen, doing something Id never d whiz before??no deja vu So the hallucinations essential be triggered by something else?? I felt up the epinephrine pass over through my veins again, and I thought I had the answer. Some combination of adrenaline and riskiness, or maybe al single stupidity.Jacob was licking me to my feet.Did you profit your head? he asked.I dont think so. I shook it back and forth, checking. I didnt hurt the bike, did I? This tho ught worried me. I was anxious to try again, right away. Being reckless was paying off best(p) than Id thought. Forget cheating. possibly Id found a way to generate the hallucinations??that was oftentimes more important.No. You exactly stalled the engine, Jacob said, interrupting my quick speculations. You let go of the clutch too fast.I nodded. Lets try again.Are you sure? Jacob asked.Positive.This time I tried to get the kick-start myself. It was entangled I had to jump a little to slam down on the pedal with enough force, and every time I did that, the bike tried to knock me over. Jacobs hand hovered over the handlebars, ready to catch me if I needed him.It took several good tries, and plain more poor tries, before the engine caught and roared to life under me. Remembering to hold on to the grenade, I revved the throttle experimentally. It snarled at the slightest touch. My smile reflected Jacobs now.Easy on the clutch, he reminded me.Do you want to kill yourself, then? Is that what this is approximately? the other voice spoke again, his tone severe.I smiled tightly??it was soothe work??and ignored the questions. Jacob wasnt going to let anything serious happen to me.Go stead to Charlie, the voice ordered. The sheer beauty of it amazed me. I couldnt allow my storage to lose it, no matter the price.Ease off slowly, Jacob encouraged me.I will, I said. It bo at that placed me a bit when I realized I was answering both of them.The voice in my head growled against the roar of the motorcycle. trying to focus this time, to not let the voice startle me again, I relaxed my hand by tiny degrees. Suddenly, the gear caught and wrenched me forward.And I was flying.There was wind that wasnt there before, blowing my flake against my skull and flinging my hair back behind me with enough force that it felt like someone was tugging on it. Id left my stomach back at the scratch point the adrenaline coursed through my body, tingling in my veins. The trees raced chivalric me, blurring into a wall of green.But this was only first gear. My foot itched toward the gearshift as I twisted for more gas.No, Bella the angry, honey-sweet voice ordered in my ear. Watch what youre doingIt distracted me enough from the cannonball along to realize that the road was starting a slow curve to the left, and I was still going straight. Jacob hadnt told me how to turn.Brakes, brakes, I muttered to myself, and I instinctively slammed down with my right foot, like I would in my truck.The bike was short unstable underneath me, shivering first to one side and then the other. It was dragging me toward the green wall, and I was going too fast. I tried to turn the handlebar the other direction, and the sudden shift of my charge pushed the bike toward the ground, still spinning toward the trees.The motorcycle landed on top of me again, roaring loudly, pulling me crosswise the askew sand until it hit something stationary. I couldnt see. My face was mashed into the moss. I tried to lift my head, but there was something in the way.I was dizzy and confused. It sounded like there were three things snarling??the bike over me, the voice in my head, and something else??Bella Jacob yell, and I hear the roar of the other bike cut off.The motorcycle no longer pinned me to the ground, and I rolled over to breathe. All the growling went dull.Wow, I murmured. I was thrilled. This had to be it, the chemical formula for a hallucination??adrenaline plus clanger plus stupidity. Something close to that, anyway.Bella Jacob was crouching over me anxiously. Bella, are you alive?Im great I enthused. I flexed my arms and legs. Everything seemed to be work correctly. Lets do itagain.I dont think so. Jacob still sounded worried. I think Id discover drive you to the hospital first.Imfine.Um, Bella? Youve got a huge cut on your forehead, and its burbling line of work, he informed me.I clapped my hand over my head. Sure enough, it was wet and sticky. I could sm ell nothing but the damp moss on my face, and that held off the nausea.Oh, Im so sorry, Jacob. I pushed hard against the gash, as if I could force the pipeline back inside my head.Why are you apologizing for operateing? he wondered as he wrapped a long arm around my nookynon and pulled me to my feet. Lets go. Ill drive. He held turn out his hand for the keys.What about the bikes? I asked, handing them over.He thought for a second. Wait here. And take this. He pulled off his T-shirt, already espy with subscriber line, and threw it to me. I w rendered it up and held it tightly to my forehead. I was starting to smell the blood I breathed deeply through my mouth and tried to melt off on something else.Jacob jumped on the black motorcycle, kicked it to a start in one try, and raced back down the road, spraying sand and pebbles behind him. He looked gymnastic and professional as he leaned over the handlebars, head low, face forward, his showy hair whipping against the russet ski n of his back. My look narrowed enviously. I was sure I hadnt looked like that on my motorcycle.I was surprised at how far Id gone. I could barely see Jacob in the distance when he finally got to the truck. He threw the bike into the bed and sprinted to the drivers side.I really didnt relish bad at all as he coaxed my truck to a deafening roar in his hurry to get back to me. My head stung a little, and my stomach was un escaped, but the cut wasnt serious. Head wounds just bled more than most. His urgency wasnt necessary.Jacob left the truck running as he raced back to me, wrapping his arm around my waist again.Okay, lets get you in the truck.Im honestly fine, I assured him as he tendinged me in. Dont get worked up. Its just a little blood.Just a caboodle of blood, I heard him mutter as he went back for my bike.Now, lets think about this for a second, I began when he got back in. If you take me to the ER like this, Charlie is sure to hear about it. I glanced down at the sand and dirt caked into my jeans.Bella, I think you need stitches. Im not going to let you bleed to death.I wont, I promised. Lets just take the bikes back first, and then well shoot a stop at my house so I can dispose of the evidence before we go to the hospital.What about Charlie?He said he had to work to twenty-four hours.Are you really sure? effrontery me. Im an easy bleeder. Its not nearly as dire as it looks.Jacob wasnt happy??his profuse mouth turned down in an uncharacteristic frown??but he didnt want to get me in trouble. I stared out the window, holding his ruined shirt to my head, go he drove me to Forks.The motorcycle was better than Id dreamed. It had served its original purpose. Id cheated??broken my promise. Id been needlessly reckless. I felt a little less pathetic now that the promises had been broken on both sides. And then to discover the key to the hallucinations At least, I hoped I had. I was going to test the theory as soon as possible. Maybe theyd get through with me quickly in the ER, and I could try again this evening. hotfoot down the road like that had been amazing. The feel of the wind in my face, the speed and the freedom?? it reminded me of a past life, flying through the thick afforest without a road, piggyback while he ran??I halt thinking right there, letting the memory break off in the sudden agony. I flinched.You still okay? Jacob checked.Yeah. I tried to sound as convincing as before.By the way, he added. Im going to disconnect your foot brake tonight.At home, I went to look at myself in the mirror first thing it was elegant gruesome. Blood was drying in thick streaks crosswise my cheek and neck, matting in my muddy hair. I examined myself clinically, pretending the blood was paint so it wouldnt upset my stomach. I breathed through my mouth, and was fine.I washed up as well as I could. therefore I hid my dirty, bloody clothes in the bottom of my laundry basket, putt on modern jeans and a button-up shirt (that I didnt pidd le to pull over my head) as carefully as I could. I managed to do this one-handed and suffer both garments blood-free.Hurry up, Jacob called.Okay, okay, I shouted back. After qualification sure I left nothing incriminating behind me, I headed downstairs.How do I look? I asked him.Better, he admitted.But do I look like I detonateped in your garage and hit my head on a hammer?Sure, I guess so.Lets go then.Jacob hurried me out the door, and insisted on driving again. We were halfway to the hospital when I realized he was still shirtless.I frowned guiltily. We should have grabbed you a jacket.That would have given us away, he teased. Besides, its not cold.Are you kidding? I shivered and reached out to turn the heat on.I watched Jacob to see if he was just compete tough so I wouldnt worry, but he looked comfortable enough. He had one arm over the back of my seat, though I was cluster up to keep warm.Jacob really did look older than sixteen??not quite forty, but maybe older than me. Quil didnt have too much on him in the muscle department, for all that Jacob claimed to be a skeleton. The muscles were the long wiry kind, but they were definitely there under the smooth skin. His skin was such a delightful color, it made me jealous.Jacob noticed my scrutiny.What? he asked, suddenly self-conscious.Nothing. I just hadnt realized before. Did you know, youre manikin of beautiful?Once the row slipped out, I worried that he might take my impulsive observation the wrong way.But Jacob just rolled his eyes. You hit your head pretty hard, didnt you?Im serious.Well, then, thanks. Sort of.I grinned. Youre sort of welcome.I had to have seven stitches to c lose the cut on my forehead. After the sting of the local anesthetic, there was no pain in the procedure. Jacob held my hand while Dr. Snow was sewing, and I tried not to think about why that was ironic.We were at the hospital forever. By the time I was done, I had to drop Jacob off at his home and hurry back to cook din ner for Charlie. Charlie seemed to buy my history about falling in Jacobs garage. After all, it wasnt like I hadnt been able to land myself in the ER before with no more help than my own feet.This night was not as bad as that first night, after Id heard the perfect voice in Port Angeles. The welter came back, the way it always did when I was away from Jacob, but it didnt throb so badly around the edges. I was already planning ahead, looking forward to more delusions, and that was a distraction. Also, I knew I would feel better tomorrow when I was with Jacob again. That made the empty hole and the familiar pain easier to contribute relief was in sight. The nightmare, too, had lost a little of its potency. I was fright by the nothingness, as always, but I was also strangely burning as I waited for the moment that would send me screaming into consciousness. I knew the nightmare had to end.The next Wednesday, before I could get home from the ER, Dr. Gerandy called to warn my begin ner that I might possibly have a concussion and apprised him to wake me up every two hours through the night to draw off sure it wasnt serious. Charlies eyes narrowed suspiciously at my weak account about tripping again.Maybe you should just stay out of the garage altogether, Bella, he suggested that night during dinner.I panicked, worried that Charlie was about to lay down some kind of edict that would prohibit La Push, and consequently my motorcycle. And I wasnt giving it up??Id had the most amazing hallucination today. My velvet-voiced delusion had yelled at me for almost five split seconds before Id hit the brake too abruptly and launched myself into the tree. Id take whatever pain that would cause me tonight without complaint.This didnt happen in the garage, I protested quickly. We were hiking, and I tripped over a rock.Since when do you hike? Charlie asked skeptically.Working at Newtons was bound to rub off sometime, I pointed out. Spend every day selling all the virtues o f the outdoors, eventually you get curious.Charlie glared at me, unconvinced.Ill be more careful, I promised, surreptitiously crossing my fingers under the table.I dont mind you hiking right there around La Push, but keep close to town, okay?Why?Well, weve been getting a lot of wildlife complaints lately. The forestry department is going to check into it, but for the time being??Oh, the outsize bear, I said with sudden comprehension. Yeah, some of the hikers coming through Newtons have seen it. Do you think theres really some giant mutated grizzly out there?His forehead creased. Theres something. Keep it close to town, okay?Sure, sure, I said quickly. He didnt look completely appeased.Charlies getting nosy, I complained to Jacob when I picked him up after school Friday.Maybe we should cool it with the bikes. He saw my objecting facial expression and added, At least for a week or so. You could stay out of the hospital for a week, right?What are we going to do? I griped.He smiled ch eerfully. What ever you want.I thought about that for a minute??about what I wanted.I hated the idea of losing even my skeleton seconds of closeness with the memories that didnt hurt??the ones that came on their own, without me thinking of them consciously. If I couldnt have the bikes, I was going to have to find some other avenue to the danger and the adrenaline, and that was going to take serious thought and creativity. Doing nothing in the interim was not appealing. Suppose I got depressed again, even with Jake? I had to keep occupied.Maybe there was some other way, some other recipe?? some other place.The house had been a mistake, certainly. But his presence must be stamped somewhere, somewhere other than inside me. There had to be a place where he seemed more real than among all the familiar landmarks that were herd with other human memories.I could think of one place where that might hold true. One place that would always belong to him and no one else. A magic place, full of light. The beautiful meadow Id seen only at one time in my life, lit by sunshine and the sparkle of his skin.This idea had a huge potential for backfiring??it might be dangerously painful. My titty ached with conceit even to think of it. It was hard to hold myself upright, to not give myself away. But surely, there of all places, I could hear his voice. And Id already told Charlie I was hiking??What are you thinking about so hard? Jacob asked.Well?? I began slowly. I found this place in the forest once??I came across it when I was, um, hiking. A little meadow, the most beautiful place. I dont know if I could track it down again on my own. It would definitely take a few tries??We could use a cover and a football field pattern, Jacob said with confident helpfulness. Do you know where you started from?Yes, just below the trail head where the one-ten ends. I was going mostly south, I think.Cool. Well find it. As always, Jacob was halting for anything I wanted. No matter how strang e it was.So, Saturday afternoon, I tied on my new hiking boots??purchased that morning using my twenty-per-cent-off employee discount for the first time??grabbed my new topographical map of the Olympic Peninsula, and drove to La Push.We didnt get started this instant first, Jacob sprawled across the living room floor??taking up the all told room??and, for a full twenty minutes, drew a complicated web across the key section of the map while I perched on a kitchen chair and talked to billy club. billy goat didnt seem at all concerned about our proposed hiking trip. I was surprised that Jacob had told him where we were going, given the fuss commonwealth were reservation about the bear sightings. I wanted to ask nightstick not to say anything about this to Charlie, but I was afraid that making the request would cause the opposite result.Maybe well see the super bear, Jacob joked, eyes on his design.I glanced at Billy swiftly, fearing a Charlie-style reaction.But Billy just laughe d at his son. Maybe you should take a clash of honey, just in case.Jake chuckled. Hope your new boots are fast, Bella. One little jar isnt going to keep a hungry bear occupied for long.I only have to be faster than you.Good luck with that Jacob said, turn his eyes as he refolded the map. Lets go.Have fun, Billy rumbled, wheeling himself toward the refrigerator.Charlie was not a hard person to live with, but it looked to me like Jacob had it even easier than I did.I drove to the very end of the dirt road, stopping near the sign that marked the beginning of the trailhead. It had been a long time since Id been here, and my stomach reacted nervously. This might be a very bad thing. But it would be worth it, if I got to hear him.I got out and looked at the dense wall of green.I went this way, I murmured, pointing straight ahead.Hmm, Jake muttered.What?He looked at the direction Id pointed, then at the clearly marked trail, and back.I would have figured you for a trail kind of girl.Not me. I smiled bleakly. Im a rebel.He laughed, and then pulled out our map.Give me a second. He held the compass in a skilled way, twisting the map around till it angled the way he wanted.Okay??first line on the grid. Lets do it.I could tell that I was slowing Jacob up, but he didnt complain. I tried not to dwell on my last trip through this part of the forest, with a very different companion. Normal memories were still cangerous. If I let myself slip up, Id end up with my arms clutching my chest to hold it together, gasping for air, and how would I explain that to Jacob?It wasnt as hard as I would have thought to keep focused on the present. The forest looked a lot like any other part of the peninsula, and Jacob set a vastly different mood.He whistled cheerfully, an unfamiliar tune, swinging his arms and moving easily through the rough undergrowth. The shadows didnt seem as dark as usual. Not with my personal sun along.Jacob checked the compass every few minutes, keeping us in a str aight line with one of the radiating spokes of his grid. He really looked like he knew what he was doing. I was going to compliment him, but I caught myself. No doubt hed add another few years to his inflated age.My mind wandered as I walked, and I grew curious. I hadnt forgotten the conversation wed had by the sea cliffs??Id been waiting for him to bring it up again, but it didnt look like that was going to happen.Hey?? Jake? I asked hesitantly.Yeah?How are things?? with Embry? Is he back to normal yet?Jacob was silent for a minute, still moving forward with long paces. When he was about ten feet ahead, he stopped to wait for me.No. Hes not back to normal, Jacob said when I reached him, his mouth pulling down at the corners. He didnt start walking again. I immediately regretted bringing it up.StillwithSam.Yup.He put his arm around my shoulder, and he looked so troubled that I didnt playfully shake it off, as I might have otherwise.Are they still looking at you funny? I half-whisper ed.Jacob stared through the trees. Sometimes.AndBilly?As helpful as ever, he said in a sour, angry voice that disturbed me.Our couch is always open, I offered.He laughed, breaking out of the unnatural gloom. But think of the position that would put Charlie in??when Billy calls the police to report my kidnapping.I laughed too, glad to have Jacob back to normal.We stopped when Jacob said wed gone six miles, cut west for a short time, and headed back along another line of his grid. Everything looked exactly the same as the way in, and I had a feeling that my silly quest was pretty much doomed. I admitted as much when it started to get darker, the sunless day fading toward a starless night, but Jacob was more confident.As long as youre sure were starting from the right place?? He glanced down at me.Yes, Im sure.Then well find it, he promised, grabbing my hand and pulling me through a mass of ferns. On the other side was the truck. He gestured toward it proudly. Trust me.Youre good, I ad mitted. Next time we bring flashlights, though.Well save hiking for Sundays from now on. I didnt know you were that slow.I yanked my hand back and stomped around to the drivers side while he chuckled at my reaction.So you up for another try tomorrow. he asked, sliding into the passenger seat.Sure. Unless you want to go without me so I dont tie you down to my gimpy pace.Ill survive, he assured me. If were hiking again, though, you might want to pick up some moleskin. I bet you can feel those new boots right now.A little, I confessed. It felt like I had more blisters than I had space to fit them.I hope we see the bear tomorrow. Im sort of disappointed about that.Yes, me, too, I agreed sarcastically. Maybe well get well-off tomorrow and something will eat usBears dont want to eat people. We dont bask that good. He grinned at me in the dark cab. Of course, you might be an exception. I bet youd taste good.Thanks so much, I said, looking away. He wasnt the first person to tell me that.